Head and Shoulders, Poesy and Prose

At long last, I break my silence. About this election, I mean.

I begin with an oft-attributed and commonly restated quotation that goes something like this:

“Any man who is not a socialist when he is twenty has no heart; any man who is a socialist when he is forty has no head.”

This bit of wisdom wrenched from the unheard mouth of Francois Guizot was passed to me by my grandfather a couple of years ago. My grandfather is a very wise man.

And, really, few statements so accurately summarize this election.

Cherishing clarity over brevity, I shall now elaborate. Obama’s vision and charisma are truly inspirational. His world where the smallest person is valued and protected is worth striving for. And who better to lead us there than a disadvantaged guy who skyrocketed past the prejudice on a potent combination of pure ambition and an unnamed-higher-power(s)-given ability?

The only problem is that, despite the catchy slogan, I can’t believe in it. And who better to turn to for a dose of reality than the maverick turned skipping calf who has lived long enough to know that happy dreams are quickly broken in the prison camp of life? Grand plans of principle and caring oft go awry when executed by flawed people. McCain knows just how flawed people really are and will stand firm against insubstantial dreams of better days.

Obama knows it’s broken and wants to fix it without bothering to figure out what went wrong in the first place. He’s going to reshuffle some parts, gild the rough spots and hope for the best. McCain has watched it break and is going to make sure nothing comes near it to further damage it (side note: that means it doesn’t get fixed either).

I had a friend recently theorize the difference between liberals and conservatives results from the complexity with which they see the world. I hereby layer another filter on the discussion. Perhaps the difference is determined by the chronological direction they look for guidance in their policies.

Take, for example, the opening citation. What perception! The glorious complexities of government solved by a simple adage. The political feuds of countless generations reduced to a single guiding aphorism. Call me a liberal, and I’ll boldly proclaim this truth to guide my nation into a glorious future of understanding and advancement. Gone are the squabbles over political leanings. We shall relegate all such enlightened notions to history.

As a conservative, I’ll consider the history of this bit of wisdom. It has been taken completely out of context, had its noted notions of government exchanged to address contemporary concerns, had its ages and syntax molded to fit various eras, and been inaccurately heard from the mouths of multiple people. It is most often mis-attributed to Winston Churchill, who most probably never had such notions, and it is often remedially drawn from the works of George Bernard Shaw, who most definitely repudiated the idea. Power-grabbing, glory-sharing, name-dropping, content-wrangling. It’s how people work—and all to claim the power of credulity.

And where does this leave a hopeful young person attempting to make an informed decision? I want to see things get better as much as any Bolshevik, and I’m about as fed up with the current system of doing things. However, I differ from my century-old revolutionary counterparts in simile in that I have been taught a bit more about history. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t think Barak is a communist or would turn the US into the setting of future James Bond missions. I don’t really think he’ll do anything of his own at all, but that’s a different discussion.

I suppose that’s why I usually vote conservative. But I still have seven weeks to dream.

Olympics: Sunshine in a bag

Empty StadiumHere are some thoughts after watching far too much Olympics.

Near the beginning of the current Olympiad, I heard a quote about why we love the Olympics. The quote said watching the games makes us proud to be human. It went something like this: As we watch people do things that amaze us, it makes us feel a sense of pride that we, as humans, are somehow connected to such greatness. It makes us aware of our potential. Like, if we had given our lives to learn how to twist and spin into water, we could be just like the chinese girl that won the gold medal in diving (中国加油!). Or even if we couldn’t do it, we are still connected. We are all members of that amazing human race.

[Try not to read too much sarcasm in the preceding paragraph, please. That discussion will come later. I really tried to legitimately explain the idea. I did my best to hold any sarcasm in, but I’m afraid a little may have squeezed out.]

Here’s why I love the Olympics: It celebrates losers.

I know, I know, the best people get medals. But think about it. What we’re really saying is that everyone else lost.

Let’s take men’s basketball (since that is what is on at the moment). Twelve teams entered the tournament, each allowed 12 players. So before the Olympics even started, the field was narrowed to just 12 countries. Those 12 countries chose just 12 people. The rest weren’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough. Neither were you (unless Lebron happens to be reading this. You, sir, were good enough). So we’ve already selected the 144 best basketball players in the world, and we’re in the process of weeding those out to pick just 12 to call the best basketball team in the world. Everyone else in the world is a loser. Now we know for sure.

One world population clock puts the present world population at this very moment at 6,718,058,143. That means 6,718,058,131 of those people are not part of the best basketball team. And when the US wins the tournament, we’ll know exactly which 6,718,058,131 (adjusted for births and deaths, of course) are the losers. Hooray.

What other event could make it so clear?

The sad part, really, is that I fear the above quote may be the truth. The Olympics may be popular as a way for us to explore human potential. To inspire dreams. And that does, indeed, bind us together. All humanity has the irrational need to imagine themselves as something greater. It’s the human distinctive.

Seriously, can you imagine this in any other sphere? Some rabbit proving he’s practically a kangaroo because his jumps are longer than every other rabbit’s? An earthworm basking in the approving glow of all the other earthworms who can’t wrap themselves around a stick as many times as she can. I honestly can’t bring myself to believe the fastest dolphin in the pod has others comparing him to a shark.

No, I’m pretty sure just people are so sad.