Archive for March, 2010
Filed Under (Life, Ponderings) by justin
I wrote this a few weeks ago, but managed to forget to post it in those rare moments when I had internet access. I now offer it for your nostalgic consideration. ![]() The most recent distribution of Academy Awards finally found its way to my computer. There was some good, lots of bad, whatever. I did use the occasion, though, to prepare the speech I’ll give when I win mine. And since I’ll never need it, I’m offering it on a first come, first served basis to anyone who actually gets nominated. I’m assuming it’s for acting. Writing, directing, or editing might require minor adjustments. It goes something like this:
That seems a little more gracious than my original: “Seriously? You just gave me millions of dollars to play around all day and now you’re adding a gold statue? Um, OK. Suckers.” If I win Best Actor, I apparently get more time to talk and am allowed (though obviously not expected) to be more than a sycophant, so I might add this little riff about how it’s funny that I’m getting an award for pretending to be someone with a life worth watching and how much more gratifying it is to have a life worth watching than to just hear other people talk about having one and how I plan to take the little man home to occasionally remember that fake life while actually trying to have a worthwhile life and how awesome it would be to give gold statues to everyone we know who has a real life worth watching. I might even cave to the name-dropping peer pressure and mention some people who would deserve those statues. No one in the room would be on the list, but some of you might.
Filed Under (Politics, Ponderings) by justin
The tragedy isn’t that American health care provision is going to be reformed by government mandate, it’s that we needed another mandate. My bad. |
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